Hablaba el otro día con un buen amigo mío, y debatíamos sobre la dificultad que supone ser padres en la sociedad actual.
Estos últimos meses, he escuchado numerosas noticias sobre lo complicado que resulta serlo, incluso aunque tengas todas las posibilidades del mundo para darle la mejor vida que pueda tener un niño, y a mí, personalmente, me cuesta entender las barreras que se ponen, cuando hay miles de niños que no tienen la suerte de tener una oportunidad, por nacer donde nacen, por tener los padres que tienen, por venir al mundo en las peores condiciones…
El tema de las adopciones, de los vientres de alquiler, y otros métodos , todavía prohibidos en nuestro país, me genera un gran debate interno, puesto que, por un lado, entiendo perfectamente que haya que regular un tema tan delicado, ya que se está hablando de brindarle un seno familiar a un nuevo ser, y tiene que tener con una serie de garantías, que pasen por hechos como que recibirá amor, que será educado/a en valores, que tendrá una seguridad médica, unos recursos económicos para tener una vida completa y feliz, eso lo entiendo y respeto, pero no me entra en la cabeza la otra cara de la moneda.
Se habla de evitar hacer un negocio con los niños, pero se hace de modo encubierto, como se ve en el hecho de que, la persona que, con toda su ilusión, vuelca sus energías en iniciar estos trámites, puesto que no puede tener hijos de forma natural, tenga que desembolsar enormes cantidades de dinero, pasar meses de angustia sin ninguna garantía hasta el final del proceso, esperar que todo vaya bien y si, por la más mala de las casualidades, el proceso se frustra, a volver a empezar de cero y con todo lo perdido a las espaldas, sin posibilidad de recuperarlo.
Conozco varios casos de parejas que hubieran dado hasta el último euro por tener un hijo, y aseguro, como profesional, que hubieran sido unos padres estupendos, y que ese niño o esa niña hubiera tenido una vida maravillosa, pero lamentablemente, esa pareja ha tenido que renunciar a serlo, ante las trabas y desilusiones que se han llevado por el camino, primero por los trámites insufribles para una adopción que nunca llegaba, y tras años de pelea, un no les niega la opción de serlo por esa vía, y se encuentran con los mismos problemas para acogerse a otras alternativas.
En otros lugares es algo mucho más natural, igual que tantas otras cosas, y me da que pensar que vamos con retraso en este país nuestro.
No quiero olvidarme de mencionar las dificultades con que nos encontramos los jóvenes, con la posibilidad de ser padres y madres biológicos, que no lo podemos ser tampoco, por estar en una sociedad tremendamente competitiva, donde serlo te quita opciones de crecimiento personal, cosa que se demuestra con el simple hecho de que, todavía, cuando una mujer va a una entrevista de trabajo, una de las preguntas clave para tener oportunidades para un puesto, es «si tienes idea de quedarte embarazada en los próximos meses o años´´
Mucha gente ha dedicado años para estudiar una carrera, formarse y buscar su sitio en el mundo profesional, y ver cerradas las puertas por el hecho de ser padres, hace que nos lo pensemos durante largo tiempo, que lo vayamos descartando año tras año, con la excusa de que el que viene será el elegido para serlo, y cuando te das cuenta, tienes una edad problemática y ya, o descartas finalmente la opción, o tienes que elegir entre trabajo y maternidad/paternidad, porque la sociedad no está preparada para que desarrollemos ambas facetas, aunque se ha visto que, en muchos países, se compagina perfectamente, con un poco de buena voluntad por todas las partes.
Sinceramente, me da pena ver que estamos creando un país envejecido y que irá, por ello precisamente, a otro ritmo en el futuro, porque nadie se sienta a debatir formas de cambiar este problema existente, y mientras sigamos como hasta ahora, lo único que nos queda a las nuevas generaciones, es ver como se nos va el tiempo, intentando ser los mejores en nuestra profesión, pero dejando de lado la vida personal, que parece no encontrar el hueco que merece.
Espero que algún día estas líneas, no solamente no sean necesarias, sino, que no haya ni que hablar del tema, porque ello significará que el sistema ha cambiado y encontrado el modo de permitir que tengamos posibilidades en ambos terrenos por igual, pero mientras sucede, y con la creencia firme de que, de este modo, podíamos ayudar a tantos niños en el mundo, dejo para el final , aprovechando este espacio, un halo de esperanza a esas personas que quieren plantearse ser padres/madres, y se lo piensan dos veces, viendo las dificultades que se les presentan por delante, para que no la pierdan y luchen por sus sueños, porque con ellos, también, sí logran cumplirlo, estarán haciendo posible el de una personita que, de otro modo, lo hubiera tenido muy difícil, por no decir imposible, por no nacer en el momento o el lugar adecuado.
¡Hay mucho camino por andar, pero se tienen que dar alguna vez los primeros pasos!
Katia Bañuls
Psicóloga
Catiasofiabb@gmail.com
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